Observation: humans and their foibles

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Did you know that you don’t need to be a teenager to have a crush on a singer-songwriter?

(Well, it was news to me last Tuesday)

On the third Tuesday of the third month of this year, ie. March 16, 2010, something happened. In spite of the fact I am actually blushing as I write this, I have an overwhelming urge to share this. I am about to admit something that makes me cringe like a school girl.

(Hey, I have chosen to bare all and publish a blog in order to do my bit with the zeitgeist and keep up with the Joneses – online and across the globe – N.B., not the Joneses with the B&Q picket fence, ensconced in suburbia).

I got a crush, a real-life teenage crush that had me running around my flat (yes, I am a freelancer in case, heaven forbid, you are not up-to-date with mon blog, mon existence, mon nonsense) and it doesn’t take much for one to go a little nuts when excitement bursts onto the airwaves within the confines of my four walls.

What excitement could possibly be taking place in my kitchen just before 9;10am on Radio 2 on the fairly new Chris Evans show? I was half listening, half making tea and somewhere in the middle of both these halves, was endeavouring to be proactively making a stab at client work. I felt it in my gut. The ‘it’ we long to feel again, that has been diluted over the years, whether through cynicism, becoming a grown-up, or the slow realisation that life is not what Hollywood has thrown down our throats. Take my intense and long crush on Tom Cruise at the age of 14, for example. Say no more…

JR

I looked on my reliable DAB radio screen to see whose voice this angel in human form belonged to. Who was making me react so intensely? The screen said Joshua Radin.

Have you heard his voice and his lyrics? Please check him out and report back.

There was something very much Simon & Garfunkel going on in the air. Silky velvety smooth melodious harmonies. Something in this guy’s tone made me feel dreamy and I was suddenly transported out of the urban kitchen to a tropical destination with nothing to do but chill in a hammock. Also verging on folk actually .

There was a pang in my gut that was reminiscent of the first time I heard Eric Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight. I was 12 at the time. I had fallen in love with a voice. I became so focused that my brain hurt. My tummy also had a pain in it; interestingly, it was a familiar pang. It had been years since I had been emotionally and almost spiritually uplifted, with a complete change of mood, by a musician, however just for a moment, I have to acknowledge my unfailing loyalty to one of the greatest musicians du jour, in my opinion, Nitin Sawhney. Nitin – please don’t think I am being unfaithful to you.

You know what though? I have been accused of being lazy, a little bit of a space cadet, lacking the ability to focus on one thing at a time. Not on this particular morning! I began googling in such a frenzy, it was as though I’d just had a glimpse of the Messiah.

FYI, a lot of Radin’s music features during some of the intense scenes on those addictive TV series Grey’s Anatomy and Scrubs. Those incredible gut-wrenching teary moments in Grey’s that had moved me so much a couple of summers ago were partly down to the music and I hadn’t thought to move from the sofa find out who was singing / had written the lyrics.

In the midst of googling, youtube-ing etc etc, I had found out Josh (we’re familiar now…) was going to be LIVE AND IN MY CITY on April 8th. To fully explain the elation I experienced when I found this out is impossible (I am now the proud owner of two tickets!!). When a girl wants something, she gets it. Simple.

Josh – if you’re reading this, I promise not to stalk you by the stage door at the Shepherds Bush Empire in a couple of weeks.

Feedback is most welcome for those of you who have got to the end of Insight #6 and have graced your ears with Radin’s music.

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Observation: humans and their foibles

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“To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear”, Buddha

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Facing the outside world for the first time at urmm 3:30pm today, I was awoken with the desire to indulge fully and completely with today’s ‘Insight’ and incorporate more of a spiritual tone. Ogling other sapiens at such a late stage on an intermittently sunny / sleety / moody / bright Friday afternoon (still daytime mind you), what struck me was the paramount importance of having a daily ritual – and sticking to it – especially when living the life of a freelancer.

Existing as a freelancer for over six years now, often without a routine if I am not working on an inhouse project or without a morning meeting in the diary, I have often feared for the state of my daily existence on a daily basis! I am secretly confident that many in a similar situation will agree with this.

With both the rise of the laptop and the resignation of so many professionals from corporate life, aka ‘getting out quick’, not forgetting the SJP ‘cool sitting on the bed with laptop’ factor, this lack of daily routine must be rife right now.

I truly believe that a routine is vital. It is vital for the brain to stay alert, to think creatively, to maintain an an existence on an even keel, or as even as is possible. Freelancers out there need to get out of bed at the same time everyday, virtually visualise that they have an office job to go to, and dress as presentably as is possible (without going overboard). It is so easy to cut short the morning ritual and vaguely brush teeth and ‘go’.

Feeling good on the outside HAS to affect the inside. Self-preservation is key and when it slowly slips away, we are swiftly in a damn fine mess.

A routine is in fact fundamental for sanity, for happiness, for consistency, for productivity, for our mental health. We actually like ourselves a lot more when we have routine. For the irreligious amongst us, there is something to be said for customs, traditions and habits. For if anything, they fill a void when loneliness strikes and one just can’t seem to get their day going.

As Buddha said, eons before there were anti-social electronic toys to hide behind, we need to keep our bodies in good health for a clear mind. This is our duty to ourselves (and our long-suffering families and friends).

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Observation: humans & their foibles

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TLC: As vital as breathing……

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I like to think I have someone sussed (in relatively no time at all if I am perfectly honest with you).

Whether it is the way someone holds themselves, the way they dress, the way they shake hands, the tone of their voice, how they make – or don’t make – eye contact, just like a horse my blinkered assumptions leave no room for manoeuvring.

Loath as I am to over-dramatise on humans and their strange nuances, is it just me or does everyone assume everything about another human within a nano-second of meeting them? Actually, forget meeting them, merely spotting them for the first time?

Take the lady I met on the street this afternoon, standing outside her tiny garden centre. She looked as though the weight of the world was perched atop her shoulders.  Just something that was both gut-wrenching to witness and simultaneously, made the pit of my tummy ache to find out more.

Her eyes had a hardness and sadness, and her body seemed weathered and unloved. Why did she look so much older than were most surely her years? Something had burdened her, worn her down, gradually leaving her hollow to the core and I needed to speak to her.  I just wasn’t going to do the spineless British thing and walk away and pretend nothing much was happening.

Curiously, approaching Tessa seemed like the simplest thing to do in the world. She was warm and open and didn’t seem to mind the intrusion; rather welcomed it in fact. As soon as I patted her incredibly amicable dog, she looked up and the sadness that was veiling her eyes only a moment ago, lifted with such immediacy I was spellbound.

All at once, she became animated and girly, youthful and chatty.

There is a lump in my throat and my voice wobbles as we say goodbye.

So many of us, sharing the same space, each with zillions of never-ending thoughts, needs, desires – fulfilled and unfulfilled.

Like all of us, Tessa needed a little tender loving care and attention.

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Is focus underated?

Is focus as vital as water, sleep and health?

Are we complete without focus of the mind?

Are we lacking fundamentally without focus?

If your mind isn’t sharp, this tricky life of ours is one helluva lot trickier…

Very much 'after'

It came to pass that the bathroom resembled that of a Victorian girls school, albeit tiny.  I can stand in my bathroom and stretch out my arms and pretty much this is the width of my gorgeous room where I bathe, tweeze and listen to chill fm.  Don’t forget the geranium oil.

Before....

Having lived in my apartment 11 years (no cat: dont worry) my freestanding original feature bath with feet – all of the above genuine – there was no genuine shower going on and a lot of genuine gaps between wall and iron bath.

I moved out to HRH’s W9 pad – the name for my little brother who lives down the road.  What is it with builders and schedules.  Is it really ever ’3 weeks’, like really?  Anyone out there virtually and cyberically who wants to give me a case where builders stuck to the estimated timing?

Very much before

After driving little bro nuts in his gorgeous place, I am back in my more petite home and am truly happy. Yes I miss the quaintness but I LOVE the real shower, the NEW shiny bath, the soft grey glossy woodwork the clean new floor and walls and the divine cupboard designed by yours truly.  I know orchids have had their moment but I do love having one.  It just works.

PS What’s this issue with glossy paint?

Apparently I am so uncool that the builder bought eggshell because he thought I was joking.  And he’s Polish.  I think that is better than our sarcasm.

Love gloss, makes it look like I clean the salle de bain way more than I do…