Last night, a client saved my sex life….
Sam Roddick was on a mission last night. The mission? To enlighten us with her knowledge of sex.
Sam is enchanted by sex. On a psychological, emotional, intellectual, political or historical level, the subject of sex fascinates and most importantly, sex is to be enjoyed. Setting up her business in the sex industry 10 years ago exactly, she continues to be captivated at “how sex affects us as a society, with its hidden secrets which can unveil us as a nation.”
Hosting the exclusive salon last night in her erotic boutique in South Kensington, Sam revealed to her audience everything she has learnt in the past decade; exploring, relishing and embracing the whole journey, shebang, world – of the joy of sexuality. With child-like wonder, we were a captive audience hanging onto Sam’s every word for fear of missing any of the priceless tips she was selflessly throwing our way.
How refreshing to learn something new since leaving school…urm that’s hardly saying much if you went to school in the UK (on this subject matter!). She educated us with a theatrical, yet grounded repertoire that spanned centuries of history, the philosophy behind the subject, academic know-how and practical tips and techniques learnt directly from experts in the field. Her tone was an equal mix of gentle femininity, British tongue-in-cheek, sharp wit and little girl vulnerability. She wanted to share with us her passion and her font of knowledge with a teaching style that was coherent, super intelligent and just made so much sense.
“We re-designed sex shops in the UK”. Coco de Mer was the first sex shop of its kind in existence in this country, “the truth to my journey, I explored sex to heal myself and used sex as my mode of expression”. In past 10 years in the UK, “sex has changed positively. On an emotional, sexual and physical level, we have opened up”. The book that changed Sam’s life journey with such impact was The History of Whores, which depicts how through history women have actually lost the power, having once had all of it, “we have lost our social and political standing”.
Sam educated us on many factors, including, “when you realise sex is an expression and not an act, your spirit expresses itself on an intellectual level in an authentic way, and it can heal anything”, pain and negative memories. She points out that, “sex is a process, not a goal-orientated thing”. Once you get the desire for the goal out of your head, it can only get better. Most importantly it is about being in control, enjoying yourself and being totally liberated.
When Sam declared, “I want my Gucci handbag without the slave labour”, it seemed to sum it all up. She reminded us that her business is hedonistic, equally egotistical and universal. Not many of us were aware of the fact that “hedonism comes with a strict form of code and ethics to be adhered to….the pursuit of hedonism is not pleasure, but happiness”. Minimizing pain is the objective, “pursuing happiness through the greater happiness of us all.
“You are the choreographer, the director”. Sam invites us to use our imagination in the bedroom, and be anything but predictable and “expand your repertoire”. She tells us we are the “tool of talent; how you express yourself is up to you”. Through the exploration and opening up of your lover, with utmost comfort and equal dynamics, inevitably you will open up and gain more trust.
No matter whether the audience were in a relationship or not, Sam reiterated the fundamental importance of self-pleasuring, suggesting we use visualisation and set a scene, using soundtracks, creating a fantasy setting. The more you creatively self-pleasure, “the more you open up to have an exploratory relationship”. It heightens your confidence too, even blindfolding yourself when on your own and opening yourself up to your senses. We just got liberated.
We learnt that sex manuals are a far more erotic read than erotic literature and were provided with a reading list for homework, including Anais Nin, Nancy Friday.
We got into pairs to check out the silk blindfolds and guess different aromas and food products. We were shown techniques and tips for love eggs, bondage, spanking (“can get you high”) and foreplay, toys….all compliant of course.
My personal favourite line of the night, “It’s unfortunate to be cool in the bedroom, better to be a fool than cool”.
The price per salon is £69, naturally.